What to expect when you try and ‘Grey Rock’
When you use Grey Rocking with a narcissist or someone toxic, you will no doubt, get a reaction.
As mentioned in part one – you never tell anyone that you are using this technique, but they will notice the differences in your behaviour and it will impact on theirs.
What to look out for:
Anger – it is likely that they use anger anyway in order to get you to do what they need you to do.
Silent Treatment – again a commonly used manipulative tool, so you may be no stranger to it.
Belittling You – calling you names, telling you your behaviour is unacceptable, laughing at what you say and do.
Using Others Against You – they will try and get people on their side, involving friends, family and even your children.
Lying and telling stories to get others to call you on your behaviour.
Now, I know what you are thinking (if you have interacted with a narcissist or someone with toxic tendencies), they do all of this anyway!
Yes, indeed they do. Be prepared for an escalation of these however because they will do what they can to elicit a reaction from you. It will be hard not to react or interact with this, but try and remain calm and composed at all times.
If they threaten you, but you know that they are empty, then stand your ground and keep it going. Wait for them to get bored as they eventually will. Remember, they need supply from someone.
They may even come back for you at a later date, maybe to see if they can get back their power, or if their new supply runs out. Be prepared for this and keep that distance.
If things seem to be stepping up to a point where you feel at risk, then seek the protection and guidance of friends and family and if necessary, the police, the courts, and social services.
Going ‘Grey’ is an alternative to not walking away – not your first option. If you can have nothing to do with this relationship any longer then do so.
No contact is always the first option to consider.
Remind yourself that they will not change unless they really start to see that they need to and they decide that they want to. Don’t wait for that day to come as it is very rare and requires a massive shift from them emotionally and mentally.
Be aware of yourself in other relationships too. If you use this technique it could lead to you avoiding all types of interaction and not engaging in healthy relationships.
Don’t shut down from everyone, as not everyone treats you like that or has these maladaptive needs.
Don’t feel that because someone does something you don’t like that you need to cut them off.
If it is a one off or out of character, then remember not to ‘Grey Rock’ them too. Healthy people don’t hang around if you do.
There are plenty of people out there that you can trust and be emotionally safe with.
You need to put the right energy out there to attract them and allow them to care when they arrive.
If you find that you keep living in toxic/unhealthy relationships or it is too hard for you to walk away or implement the Grey Rocking technique then you may want to talk to a professional about this.
You can contact me for a free consultation by messaging me here or call 07709 350019.
I look forward to hearing from you.