How to Upgrade Your Life and Success Through the Right Relationships

I have mentioned the Harvard Grant Study a few times in previous articles, as it is the longest study ever carried out into what makes for the best quality of life.

The 75-year study concluded that there is a direct correlation between your quality of life and the quality of your relationships.

There is a concept called the Self-Expansion Model, which states that ‘our potential as human beings is contextual and relational’, that the resources a person can put toward their goals come through relationships. Those “resources” could be financial, informational, encouragement, networks, etc.

Every relationship that we experience has the ability to influence our lives, both in a positive and negative way.

The relationships I personally try and cultivate are ones that will continuously develop me as a person and enhance my experiences of life. This has not always been the case, as many relationships I have allowed have either kept me stuck or repeated the unhealthy patterns I first constructed in childhood.

Exposing yourself to new interactions is a way to expand yourself as a person. We don’t know what we don’t know and therefore need to experience something new in order to know it. The more conscious we then become, the more we can influence and impact the future lives we want to live.

Being in collaborative relationships means you are able to come together with different perspectives, views and understandings in order to expand as a person. To be able to really get to know what it is that makes you tick, feel purposeful and fulfilled.

Develop a Transformational Mindset – not a Transactional One

 A transformational mindset will allow your relationships to grow and transform into ones that are purposeful, serving, giving, connected and constantly growing and evolving. If you are in transactional or ‘get’ energy it is always about what you can take from things.

It does take all participants of a relationship to be in this space for it to really be as fruitful as possible (although, if you can put yourself in this space, then who knows who will join you for the ride) and so it important that you choose the types of relationships that you have in your life, ones on your wavelength, that support you in the life that you wish to live.

Have you heard of the 80/20 rule?

This states that 20% of the things we do, count for 80% of the results we get.

As a human, you only have the capacity to engage in less than 15 ‘deeply connected’ relationships and these are the ones that will influence you the most. Imagine now, if your 20% is spent with people that don’t bring something good into your life, then 80% of your life is not going to be the way you want it.

It is important that you cultivate quality relationships, so that your 80% is the best level of fulfilment, happiness, connectedness and success you can achieve!

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Who are the people that you spend most of your time with?
  • Who are the people that you feel most connected to?
  • How much time do you invest in relationships that you know are good for you?
  • And how much time do you invest on those that aren’t?
  • What are the outcomes of these interactions and are they serving you in the best way possible?
  • What can you do to change things?
  • Who you choose to have in your life will be based on many factors, but include the relationship you have with yourself, your relational patterns and belief systems, what you allow, don’t allow and deserve!
  • Is it time for an upgrade?


To discover what you can achieve in your life through your relationships and break the patterns that are not fulfilling you, then contact me now for your free Relationship Breakthrough Session.

In this 30-minute call you will discover:

Where you are in your life right now

The impacts your current relationships are having on your life

Some solutions to find the exact relationships you want.

Contact me now or call 07709 350019.

I look forward to talking to you.

Be good to yourself.


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Is there actually an answer to this question? In this episode I will talk about the topic as a whole and hopefully shed some light on what it looks like, feels like and how it can be attained.

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